Can Social Media Create Balance through RE-connection?

Whew – I’ll tell you, that Saboteur kicked my butt! It has been 18 months (give or take a few days) since I last posted a Weekend Attitude Adjustment.  No, no, I haven’t been hiding under the bed – in fact just the opposite – very much living life’s moments. I have been struggling a bit with my Weekend Attitude Adjustment – because I’ve been struggling a bit with keeping my balance while living in the moments.

I would like to report that the balance is back. The truth is for now, in this moment – I feel balanced.

That said – here is this week’s Weekend Attitude Adjustment for you to consider …

Recently I was found on Linked In by a dear friend who was part of my life over 23 years ago, and I haven’t seen her since. “I still remember standing in the middle of the street and watching you and your brother drive away.” That was in May 1988. I left my life in Iron Mountain, Michigan to return to life in Chicago, Illinois.

When she reached out to reconnect with me I was thrilled. We shared an amazing time of life together with a wonderful group of people. As a result of her Linked In connection I am now reconnected to several from that group, including her daughter whose bedroom we painted lavender when she was nine or 10. One of those friends responded to my Facebook Friend Request with “I’m so glad to hear from you – I thought I lost you.”

There was a lovely picture posted of my friend’s children standing on their front porch in their Easter best from April 1998. That picture is exactly how I remember them and how they continued to live in my mind.

It was a bit of a jolt to realize that they aren’t actually frozen in time – though, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, that is certainly possible. They are now 23 years older with families of their own. They are now older than I was when that picture was taken – fascinating isn’t it. My parents were right. Time really does move so quickly.

So to my point, dear friends – you knew I would eventually get to it…

While at a national conference recently, I was privileged to give a presentation on the topic “RESET Your Buttons®: The Credit Union Leaders Edge”. I was having a great conversation with a client on all sorts of items. We eventually landed on social media, kids today and connections.  I was sharing with him my recent reconnection through social media and described it this way …

In life we each have our paths that we walk along, and for a while – sometimes a long while – others join us along the journey. Eventually, the path splits and our fellow travelers veer off in a different direction. They continue to follow their own path. If we are fortunate, those paths once again converge and we find ourselves walking along together, even if it is for a short while.

This is one of the ways I see benefit in social media. It creates the opportunity for our paths to run together again – even if only in cyberspace. We return and are reconnected. Even if only for a little while.

So. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment is all about reaching out and reconnecting. If you aren’t a social media fan, pick up the phone or send an email. You may need to do a “Google Search”, but the reality is (good or bad) it won’t take you too long to seek and find.  Reconnect with that somebody that has been on your mind. Find a photograph and reminisce. Share a moment together and continue on the path. Take time to enjoy the journey. In the end isn’t that what balance is really all about?

Please post your comment on this topic, or share a reconnection story with us below.  We love to hear from you.

As always until next time … I remain…

Joyfully yours,

Mary Elizabeth

A Block of Ice Falling From The Sky

Whew! Well it has been a flash of time since the last time I was here – JUNE 4. Our last post was about wanting to have fun. It seems as though just as I hit the publish button on that post, life propelled me into space. Since then, just like a shot in the dark, I’ve been hurtling through the air not sure of the target.

Now it’s a week before Thanksgiving and we are staring down the last of 2009. How does this happen? I am fascinated once again by the speed of life. How is it that we go from children whose only “job” is to play all day to not having any time to “play” at all?

I read today that a block of ice fell from the sky straight through the roof of someone’s home in Colorado. It landed smack dab in their kitchen, where they had been sitting just a few moments prior.

I teach a course on time management. In that course I talk about how we all have only 1440 minutes every single day. It is the universal equalizer. What we choose to do with those 1440 minutes is what makes the difference.

So why am I talking about fun, hurtling through space, shots in the dark, children playing, blocks of ice and 1440 minutes? Well, as my husband and I were sharing our evening television ritual, and discussing the accomplishment vs. yet to do list during the commercials, with my lap top in my lap, and his on his armrest, surrounded by paperwork that I absolutely “have to get to”, I saw the story about the block of ice.

I hit the “pause button” on all our activity. For the next few moments I remembered and reminded my husband about the blocks of ice we have experienced in our life. One moment you are sitting at your kitchen table having tea with your daughter, laughing, planning, enjoying the moment and the very next second a block of ice is crashing through your ceiling – perhaps crushing that exquisite tea pot that was displayed so perfectly on the center of the table.

The point; nothing is promised – not our next year, next month, tomorrow or even the very next millisecond. And I am amazed that no matter how many times I am reminded of this fact, I still find myself getting lost in the blur of life, unsure of the target as I sail blindly through the dark, cold, night sky.

So here we are, Thanksgiving a week away and counting down to the holidays and the end of another particularly challenging year. We will get busier as we “bustle” around with our holiday “to do” lists. We will get tired and impatient and some of us, well, we will become ill or recover from illness or sitting by the bed of someone as, hopefully, they heal from an illness.

The weekend attitude adjustment this week is simply this – remember that at any moment a block of ice can fall from the sky and crash through your kitchen ceiling. Do your best to keep the reason of the season in your heart. Enjoy the pot of tea, put away the papers, make eye contact with everyone you see. And smile. Choose to connect as your target for the next several weeks. Guide your own path and consciously navigate instead of blindly flying through the air. We do only get 1440 minutes every day – how will you choose to use yours?

Until next time I remain…
Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Time for Fun!

The song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!” by Cyndi Lauper keeps running through my head this morning.

How are you having fun these days? Are you planning to go to the lake, the beach or the mountains? Did your Memorial Day picnic offer time to tell stories and share fond memories? For those of us with family who have served or are serving, did you find a way to honor them with a smile?

Life seems to have been so serious lately and rightfully so. There are many serious issues requiring attention. And yet, perhaps because summer has begun, I find myself yearning for fun, laughter and plain ole’ silliness.

From a tax payer perspective I don’t know if I agree with the President and First Lady’s date night in New York. I’m sure there are great theatres and restaurants in Washington DC, Maryland or Virginia – you know, a motorcade vs. a helicopter ride away, but I do agree with and love the essence of their “date night”.

I found myself longing to experience the same worry free spirit they displayed as husband and wife in love and sharing what appeared to be a wonderful evening together. They were creating a new memory for the file of their life.
It served to add to my yearning for a little free spirited fun. For me it was not what they did but the fact that they did it. That was a message I was ready to receive.

When was the last time you and your partner had fun? How are you bringing fun into your workplace? Do you and your business partners wring your hands with worry or instead every once in awhile throw them up in the air and just laugh?

Have you and your spouse had an evening out recently? Just the two of you – even if you are taking a long drive or walk or bicycle ride, can you find time for just the two of you?

Life is more fun when you can share it with someone else. What about your best friend, or favorite cousin? When are you going to stop, pick up the phone or type on your keyboard and send an invitation to someone important to you? Ask them to join you in some simple, easy, good ole fashion activity that will bring you both a bit of relief, laughter and joy.

Please remember to tell us about it! Sharing ideas within our WeekEnd Attitude Adjustment community is fun. It would be awesome to have 17 new ideas to share with each other. How many are you willing to share with us? Simply clicking the comment section below and tell us your story.

And until next time … I remain….

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Solving Problems with Practical Solutions

It’s the beginning of summer, Memorial Day Weekend. What are your plans? Will you be honoring the day with family? Sharing time with friends? As you gather with friends and family what will you find yourselves discussing? Will you share stories of success or commiserate over your most current problem? It is easy to discuss the “current economic condition” or how “hard” it is at work due to the layoffs. Stretching the dollar sure has become a problem.

I found myself thinking this past week about how often we tend to focus on our problems, not necessarily the solutions. It seems that we spend more energy talking about our problems than actually doing anything to rid ourselves of them. I mean really, sometimes it as though our problems become a part of our identity. Who would I be if not for my problems?

So, if you are growing a bit weary of discussing the “current problem” or listening to Aunt Edna and Cousin Frank tell you all about what is wrong this week in their world, then please continue reading. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment will provide you with some tools so that when your neighbor Larry starts down his road of woe you might actually help him to uncover some practical solutions. And then you can both get on with enjoying the day!

Isaac Asimov hit the nail on the head when he said, “If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.”

This is so true. Learning how to solve problems is one of those topics in the world that we don’t spend time learning about. While we may “talk” through our problems, learning about them is a whole different story. Think of the lost productivity at work or the lost emotional energy in your personal life spent dealing with “problem dramas.”

How do you reduce the “problem dramas” and get on with constructive working and living?
Imagine the freed up energy you could put toward other areas of your life. What about yourself or a peer who is stuck in their ways? While you can’t change a leopard’s spots, you can change behavior.

Rather than stew over a problem, work on finding solutions to resolve it. Use these six steps to solve problems:
1. Define the problem and the expected results. Ask yourself, “What is the problem?” State it as specifically as possible giving attention to all facets of the problem. Charles Kettering once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Ask yourself, “is this the real problem?”
2. Collect facts and ideas. Collect, as many facts, ideas and opinions as you believe may be necessary to provide insights into the problem.
3. Generate solutions. Gather all possible solutions, no matter how wild they may seem. This is the time to brainstorm. All ideas are possible solutions at this stage. Use everyone’s creative imaginations and note all possible solutions. In the words of Bertrand Russell, “The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” A favorite question I like to ask myself or others when I feel stuck is, “I know I can’t but if I could what would I …?” By asking this question it eliminates the “yeah buts” and opens up the thinking to possibility.
4. Pick the best solution. Which of the solutions in Step 3 would most possibly give you the results you defined in Step 1?
5. Implement the solution. Start acting on the solution. Remember that you may have more problems by not doing anything than by doing the wrong thing.
6. Evaluate the solution. Is the solution working? Are you achieving the desired results? Now is the time to make any modifications that may be necessary.

Jot down these 6 steps. Spend some time this weekend applying this system to your problems. Then later when you are at that picnic, pool party or soccer game and Sara or Sam approach you with their latest dilemma you will be prepared for a healthy, constructive conversation that may result in a practical solution.

Ahhh, now doesn’t that feel better? A practical solution is as refreshing as a cool glass of lemonade on a warm day. And now I’m off for a burger…  until next time I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth