Help, My Saboteur is Running Amok!

Wow – it’s Friday morning 10:29 am and I’m already way behind in my personally set deadline to have my weekly Weekend Attitude Adjustment out by 10:15am every Thursday morning.

Ugh – I feel a sense of failure and overwhelm coming on – again. My saboteur, the “Noid” is rattling around in my head saying awful things including, “You are a failure, you never get anything done, and if by chance you do get something done it’s always on a wing and a prayer. If people really knew what a mess you are, they would never listen to a word you had to say”. (physical reaction – neck & shoulders tightening, jaw clenching, heart rate increasing, shallow breathing)

Whoa – Deep breath , okay maybe another deep breath, one more deep breath – a neck roll, a sip of coffee and a look out the window in front of me at the beautiful green on my red tip bushes , the birds playing in them and the sun shining and warming the earth.

Ahhh – an easier breath and a reminder recognizing that RESET Your Buttons is more than the title of my new book, it’s something that I need to …. Oops there goes another button.

“Mary Elizabeth, now you are using your Weekend Attitude Adjustment Newsletter/Blog/Thingy to shamelessly promote your book. SHAAAAMMMMEEEE ONNNN YOUUUU!!!! And besides you know the website isn’t updated the way you know it should be so why even commit this shameless act? Sure go ahead promote the book and send people to the website and let them see that Once Again You Are A MESS!”

Deep Sigh (complete w/shrugging shoulders) – my Noid or Saboteur is in rare form today. It obviously got way more sleep last night than I did… hmmm maybe that is something else I need to Recognize!

• It is much easier for my Negative Noid to operate when I did not get enough sleep.
• And hey wait a minute, I also did not eat dinner last night .
• Actually, I did not eat breakfast or lunch either.

What did I eat? Oh yes a half a bag of sea salt rice chips and a glass of Pellegrino Mineral water and yep coffee. I did have goat cheese, crackers and a tangerine before I crashed on the couch …

Hmmm – so let’s Take Stock – my Saboteur – who I have named the “Noid” – is running amok in my head this morning because – well could it be – because I ran around amok yesterday and didn’t give myself the proper rest and nutrition????

Deep breath – because really, I am pretty good at successfully running my life. My husband and I have been married 15 years and he will tell you “13 of them happily”. I suppose if were completely honest I would agree. My 18 year old consulting, training and coaching company is doing well. We have long standing clients with whom we have great relationships. I/we have great friends, family is doing well and I am respected by my colleagues. We are keeping up with our bills (some months better than others), there is food in the refrigerator, we are finally clearing clutter and decorating our home (after 15 years), and I’ve started yoga with RESET Your Buttons Club Biz Partner , Wellness With Attitude.

One more deep breath – whoa all that deep breathing and sighing is making me light headed ….

So – there you have it. Take some time this weekend to RESET Your Buttons – if your “Noid” is not bothering you GREAT! If your Celebration and Loving Life Button is activated, good for you.

However, if your saboteur is active and playing around with your other buttons, the ones that cause you self-doubt, run through these steps:

• Recognize – that a button has been pushed and determine which one(s).
  Breathe Deeply and focus on something positive or beautiful that is outside of you to take you away from the tape that is playing in your head.
• Be Aware – that the saboteur can be sneaky and slip right back in and mess with your new outlook.
• Take Stock – what are you thinking, how are you feeling, what are you doing – sometimes, like in my case, take a look at what might have led up to the saboteur gaining power. How did you sleep last night? Are you eating right for your nutritional needs? Is there too much on your “to do” list? How much of that list is self-imposed?
• Collect evidence – remember who you are and all that you have accomplished in your life. Remember that even if you have “failed” at something – that does not make you a failure. Collect evidence and remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and when you were successful. … and begin to build from that RESET Mindset.
• Take a moment – to celebrate all that you are … pull those shoulders back, sit or stand up straight, put a smile on your face, walk tall, maybe even do a little “happy dance”.
• Be yourself – no one else is qualified for the job!

Do you have a “Saboteur Story” to share? Please click on the comment link and tell us about it. We love hearing from you.
Until next time I remain …..

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

A Block of Ice Falling From The Sky

Whew! Well it has been a flash of time since the last time I was here – JUNE 4. Our last post was about wanting to have fun. It seems as though just as I hit the publish button on that post, life propelled me into space. Since then, just like a shot in the dark, I’ve been hurtling through the air not sure of the target.

Now it’s a week before Thanksgiving and we are staring down the last of 2009. How does this happen? I am fascinated once again by the speed of life. How is it that we go from children whose only “job” is to play all day to not having any time to “play” at all?

I read today that a block of ice fell from the sky straight through the roof of someone’s home in Colorado. It landed smack dab in their kitchen, where they had been sitting just a few moments prior.

I teach a course on time management. In that course I talk about how we all have only 1440 minutes every single day. It is the universal equalizer. What we choose to do with those 1440 minutes is what makes the difference.

So why am I talking about fun, hurtling through space, shots in the dark, children playing, blocks of ice and 1440 minutes? Well, as my husband and I were sharing our evening television ritual, and discussing the accomplishment vs. yet to do list during the commercials, with my lap top in my lap, and his on his armrest, surrounded by paperwork that I absolutely “have to get to”, I saw the story about the block of ice.

I hit the “pause button” on all our activity. For the next few moments I remembered and reminded my husband about the blocks of ice we have experienced in our life. One moment you are sitting at your kitchen table having tea with your daughter, laughing, planning, enjoying the moment and the very next second a block of ice is crashing through your ceiling – perhaps crushing that exquisite tea pot that was displayed so perfectly on the center of the table.

The point; nothing is promised – not our next year, next month, tomorrow or even the very next millisecond. And I am amazed that no matter how many times I am reminded of this fact, I still find myself getting lost in the blur of life, unsure of the target as I sail blindly through the dark, cold, night sky.

So here we are, Thanksgiving a week away and counting down to the holidays and the end of another particularly challenging year. We will get busier as we “bustle” around with our holiday “to do” lists. We will get tired and impatient and some of us, well, we will become ill or recover from illness or sitting by the bed of someone as, hopefully, they heal from an illness.

The weekend attitude adjustment this week is simply this – remember that at any moment a block of ice can fall from the sky and crash through your kitchen ceiling. Do your best to keep the reason of the season in your heart. Enjoy the pot of tea, put away the papers, make eye contact with everyone you see. And smile. Choose to connect as your target for the next several weeks. Guide your own path and consciously navigate instead of blindly flying through the air. We do only get 1440 minutes every day – how will you choose to use yours?

Until next time I remain…
Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Time for Fun!

The song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!” by Cyndi Lauper keeps running through my head this morning.

How are you having fun these days? Are you planning to go to the lake, the beach or the mountains? Did your Memorial Day picnic offer time to tell stories and share fond memories? For those of us with family who have served or are serving, did you find a way to honor them with a smile?

Life seems to have been so serious lately and rightfully so. There are many serious issues requiring attention. And yet, perhaps because summer has begun, I find myself yearning for fun, laughter and plain ole’ silliness.

From a tax payer perspective I don’t know if I agree with the President and First Lady’s date night in New York. I’m sure there are great theatres and restaurants in Washington DC, Maryland or Virginia – you know, a motorcade vs. a helicopter ride away, but I do agree with and love the essence of their “date night”.

I found myself longing to experience the same worry free spirit they displayed as husband and wife in love and sharing what appeared to be a wonderful evening together. They were creating a new memory for the file of their life.
It served to add to my yearning for a little free spirited fun. For me it was not what they did but the fact that they did it. That was a message I was ready to receive.

When was the last time you and your partner had fun? How are you bringing fun into your workplace? Do you and your business partners wring your hands with worry or instead every once in awhile throw them up in the air and just laugh?

Have you and your spouse had an evening out recently? Just the two of you – even if you are taking a long drive or walk or bicycle ride, can you find time for just the two of you?

Life is more fun when you can share it with someone else. What about your best friend, or favorite cousin? When are you going to stop, pick up the phone or type on your keyboard and send an invitation to someone important to you? Ask them to join you in some simple, easy, good ole fashion activity that will bring you both a bit of relief, laughter and joy.

Please remember to tell us about it! Sharing ideas within our WeekEnd Attitude Adjustment community is fun. It would be awesome to have 17 new ideas to share with each other. How many are you willing to share with us? Simply clicking the comment section below and tell us your story.

And until next time … I remain….

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Solving Problems with Practical Solutions

It’s the beginning of summer, Memorial Day Weekend. What are your plans? Will you be honoring the day with family? Sharing time with friends? As you gather with friends and family what will you find yourselves discussing? Will you share stories of success or commiserate over your most current problem? It is easy to discuss the “current economic condition” or how “hard” it is at work due to the layoffs. Stretching the dollar sure has become a problem.

I found myself thinking this past week about how often we tend to focus on our problems, not necessarily the solutions. It seems that we spend more energy talking about our problems than actually doing anything to rid ourselves of them. I mean really, sometimes it as though our problems become a part of our identity. Who would I be if not for my problems?

So, if you are growing a bit weary of discussing the “current problem” or listening to Aunt Edna and Cousin Frank tell you all about what is wrong this week in their world, then please continue reading. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment will provide you with some tools so that when your neighbor Larry starts down his road of woe you might actually help him to uncover some practical solutions. And then you can both get on with enjoying the day!

Isaac Asimov hit the nail on the head when he said, “If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.”

This is so true. Learning how to solve problems is one of those topics in the world that we don’t spend time learning about. While we may “talk” through our problems, learning about them is a whole different story. Think of the lost productivity at work or the lost emotional energy in your personal life spent dealing with “problem dramas.”

How do you reduce the “problem dramas” and get on with constructive working and living?
Imagine the freed up energy you could put toward other areas of your life. What about yourself or a peer who is stuck in their ways? While you can’t change a leopard’s spots, you can change behavior.

Rather than stew over a problem, work on finding solutions to resolve it. Use these six steps to solve problems:
1. Define the problem and the expected results. Ask yourself, “What is the problem?” State it as specifically as possible giving attention to all facets of the problem. Charles Kettering once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Ask yourself, “is this the real problem?”
2. Collect facts and ideas. Collect, as many facts, ideas and opinions as you believe may be necessary to provide insights into the problem.
3. Generate solutions. Gather all possible solutions, no matter how wild they may seem. This is the time to brainstorm. All ideas are possible solutions at this stage. Use everyone’s creative imaginations and note all possible solutions. In the words of Bertrand Russell, “The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” A favorite question I like to ask myself or others when I feel stuck is, “I know I can’t but if I could what would I …?” By asking this question it eliminates the “yeah buts” and opens up the thinking to possibility.
4. Pick the best solution. Which of the solutions in Step 3 would most possibly give you the results you defined in Step 1?
5. Implement the solution. Start acting on the solution. Remember that you may have more problems by not doing anything than by doing the wrong thing.
6. Evaluate the solution. Is the solution working? Are you achieving the desired results? Now is the time to make any modifications that may be necessary.

Jot down these 6 steps. Spend some time this weekend applying this system to your problems. Then later when you are at that picnic, pool party or soccer game and Sara or Sam approach you with their latest dilemma you will be prepared for a healthy, constructive conversation that may result in a practical solution.

Ahhh, now doesn’t that feel better? A practical solution is as refreshing as a cool glass of lemonade on a warm day. And now I’m off for a burger…  until next time I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth