Let’s take laundry for example. Instead of doing the laundry on Saturday because you have to, or it’s your job or no one else will, determine your purpose. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is my goal to have clean clothes and to make sure my kids have fresh outfits for their sports games?
• Will the reasons bring me pleasure and a feeling of contribution?
• Why am I doing this?

And while you are doing this particular task, be mindful of what it is that you are doing. Focus on the process of loading the washing machine, pouring in the detergent and folding clothes as soon as they are hot out of the dryer – not the 50 million other things that are looming over you through the “to do” list in your head.

If you value clean clothes more than an overflowing laundry basket then doing the laundry will no longer be a simple chore that you consider drudgery, but an effort that brings you joy. While you are doing sorting and folding clothes purposefully, you are also fulfilling your purpose to have clean clothes for you and your family and are avoiding a basket of dirty clothes piled a mile high.

I often think of these wonderful words of wisdom by Anne Murrow Lindbergh who is quoted in the “The Last Word – A Treasury of Women’s Quotations” by Carolyn Warner. She says, “I believe that what a woman resents is not so much giving herself in pieces as giving herself purposelessly.” Ms. Lindbergh is a woman in history who I admire for the gifts she has shared with the world through her wisdom and life experience. I wonder if men feel the same way too.

To our women readers, have you ever felt this way? Please share your thoughts in our comment section.

To our men readers, do you feel the same way? Please share your thoughts in our comment section.

Remember this definition of “on purpose” – a deliberate action to accomplish whatever you have decided to take on. So start leading your life – both personally and professionally – and weekends with a purpose.

Until next time…I remain…

Joyfully  yours,

Mary Elizabeth Murphy

Do you sometimes feel you are losing control over your time – like somehow it got off course like a run-away train or instead time controls you instead of you controlling your time?

Imagine if you could have 60 minutes of unscheduled time every day. That would be seven hours in a week and 28 additional hours in a month. Expand it for the year and that would be 14 extra free days. That’s a second vacation or stay-cation!!! It may sound ridiculous, but it can be achieved.

So, how do you maximize your time? Apply these seven tips to your weekend time management:

1. Analyze Your Weekend – Think about Sunday night – you are sitting on the sofa or the porch sipping some tea, it’s after dinner and just before you put the kids to bed… What chores got done? What places did you go? Did you visit w/family and/or friends? This thoughtful exercise done on Thursday or Friday morning at the latest will help establish priorities and determine how your weekend will go. Check that your activities are consistent with your desired outcomes.

2. Set Goals – So you’ve got the picture now how do you get there? Be sure that you and your family set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed. Be clear about what you want, when you want it and what you need to do to get it. Is it realistic to get all the necessary chores complete and drive to the beach for the weekend? If so – go for it, if not …

3. Prioritize – Identify what is most important or what causes you stress. If you can avoid the stressful activities – do it! If not, handle those items first so that they are complete and out of the way. Tackling those items first or the most important items – like laundry, changing the oil or grocery shopping – will leave plenty of time for the fun activities later. If you hold onto them they will haunt you like the Ghost of Christmas Past or Future – either way it’s a ghost reminding you of that thing you need to do and don’t want to do so you might as well just “do it” and shut that ghost up!

4. Plan – Make sure your daily ‘to do’ list has priorities and time estimates. You run out of time, not chores or activities. One big area we forget to plan for … travel time. What I like to refer to as the Big T3, ‘Total Travel Time’. The realistic perspective of Door to Door – you know the time you need to start gathering everyone or everything up to get into the car before you start rolling down the driveway. Consider what time of day you are traveling – traffic, construction, the football game or race? It’s the spot we lose sight of and ultimately leaves us short on time, short on patience, short with others. Not fun!

5. Schedule – Little ever happens in your life until you create the space for it to happen. Set a start and an end time. Be sure to carve out ‘down time’ during the weekend. One of the worse things I do on the weekends or ever – is saying ‘one more thing’. It’s the “while as long as I’m at – I might as well – do – ONE MORE THING” and it is always that “one more thing” that throws my entire schedule up for grabs. Stick to your schedule – laundry for an hour – done. Dishes – 30 minutes – check. Clean out the garage – next weekend!

6. Delegate – Do you have some chores that you can dole out to family members? While it may seem easier to do it yourself, be willing to delegate. So the results may not be perfect. That isn’t important. What’s important is that you’ll regain time while teaching your family, especially children, responsibilities and valuable life skills.

7. Avoid Procrastination – What causes you to put things off? Most of us tend to avoid things that are unpleasant, complex or overwhelming, like actually planning your weekend. I mean after all aren’t weekends supposed to be relaxing and filled with ‘free time’? Yes – and do you know how you get more free time …. See Step One …

Doing so will keep you motivated and free you up for more ‘fun’ and relaxing down time. You’ll feel great come Sunday night which will set you up for a great week ahead.

Until next time … I remain …

Joyfully yours,

Mary Elizabeth

I would like to report that the balance is back. The truth is for now, in this moment – I feel balanced.

That said – here is this week’s Weekend Attitude Adjustment for you to consider …

Recently I was found on Linked In by a dear friend who was part of my life over 23 years ago, and I haven’t seen her since. “I still remember standing in the middle of the street and watching you and your brother drive away.” That was in May 1988. I left my life in Iron Mountain, Michigan to return to life in Chicago, Illinois.

When she reached out to reconnect with me I was thrilled. We shared an amazing time of life together with a wonderful group of people. As a result of her Linked In connection I am now reconnected to several from that group, including her daughter whose bedroom we painted lavender when she was nine or 10. One of those friends responded to my Facebook Friend Request with “I’m so glad to hear from you – I thought I lost you.”

There was a lovely picture posted of my friend’s children standing on their front porch in their Easter best from April 1998. That picture is exactly how I remember them and how they continued to live in my mind.

It was a bit of a jolt to realize that they aren’t actually frozen in time – though, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, that is certainly possible. They are now 23 years older with families of their own. They are now older than I was when that picture was taken – fascinating isn’t it. My parents were right. Time really does move so quickly.

So to my point, dear friends – you knew I would eventually get to it…

While at a national conference recently, I was privileged to give a presentation on the topic “RESET Your Buttons®: The Credit Union Leaders Edge”. I was having a great conversation with a client on all sorts of items. We eventually landed on social media, kids today and connections.  I was sharing with him my recent reconnection through social media and described it this way …

In life we each have our paths that we walk along, and for a while – sometimes a long while – others join us along the journey. Eventually, the path splits and our fellow travelers veer off in a different direction. They continue to follow their own path. If we are fortunate, those paths once again converge and we find ourselves walking along together, even if it is for a short while.

This is one of the ways I see benefit in social media. It creates the opportunity for our paths to run together again – even if only in cyberspace. We return and are reconnected. Even if only for a little while.

So. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment is all about reaching out and reconnecting. If you aren’t a social media fan, pick up the phone or send an email. You may need to do a “Google Search”, but the reality is (good or bad) it won’t take you too long to seek and find.  Reconnect with that somebody that has been on your mind. Find a photograph and reminisce. Share a moment together and continue on the path. Take time to enjoy the journey. In the end isn’t that what balance is really all about?

Please post your comment on this topic, or share a reconnection story with us below.  We love to hear from you.

As always until next time … I remain…

Joyfully yours,

Mary Elizabeth

Ugh – I feel a sense of failure and overwhelm coming on – again. My saboteur, the “Noid” is rattling around in my head saying awful things including, “You are a failure, you never get anything done, and if by chance you do get something done it’s always on a wing and a prayer. If people really knew what a mess you are, they would never listen to a word you had to say”. (physical reaction – neck & shoulders tightening, jaw clenching, heart rate increasing, shallow breathing)

Whoa – Deep breath , okay maybe another deep breath, one more deep breath – a neck roll, a sip of coffee and a look out the window in front of me at the beautiful green on my red tip bushes , the birds playing in them and the sun shining and warming the earth.

Ahhh – an easier breath and a reminder recognizing that RESET Your Buttons is more than the title of my new book, it’s something that I need to …. Oops there goes another button.

“Mary Elizabeth, now you are using your Weekend Attitude Adjustment Newsletter/Blog/Thingy to shamelessly promote your book. SHAAAAMMMMEEEE ONNNN YOUUUU!!!! And besides you know the website isn’t updated the way you know it should be so why even commit this shameless act? Sure go ahead promote the book and send people to the website and let them see that Once Again You Are A MESS!”

Deep Sigh (complete w/shrugging shoulders) – my Noid or Saboteur is in rare form today. It obviously got way more sleep last night than I did… hmmm maybe that is something else I need to Recognize!

• It is much easier for my Negative Noid to operate when I did not get enough sleep.
• And hey wait a minute, I also did not eat dinner last night .
• Actually, I did not eat breakfast or lunch either.

What did I eat? Oh yes a half a bag of sea salt rice chips and a glass of Pellegrino Mineral water and yep coffee. I did have goat cheese, crackers and a tangerine before I crashed on the couch …

Hmmm – so let’s Take Stock – my Saboteur – who I have named the “Noid” – is running amok in my head this morning because – well could it be – because I ran around amok yesterday and didn’t give myself the proper rest and nutrition????

Deep breath – because really, I am pretty good at successfully running my life. My husband and I have been married 15 years and he will tell you “13 of them happily”. I suppose if were completely honest I would agree. My 18 year old consulting, training and coaching company is doing well. We have long standing clients with whom we have great relationships. I/we have great friends, family is doing well and I am respected by my colleagues. We are keeping up with our bills (some months better than others), there is food in the refrigerator, we are finally clearing clutter and decorating our home (after 15 years), and I’ve started yoga with RESET Your Buttons Club Biz Partner , Wellness With Attitude.

One more deep breath – whoa all that deep breathing and sighing is making me light headed ….

So – there you have it. Take some time this weekend to RESET Your Buttons – if your “Noid” is not bothering you GREAT! If your Celebration and Loving Life Button is activated, good for you.

However, if your saboteur is active and playing around with your other buttons, the ones that cause you self-doubt, run through these steps:

• Recognize – that a button has been pushed and determine which one(s).
  Breathe Deeply and focus on something positive or beautiful that is outside of you to take you away from the tape that is playing in your head.
• Be Aware – that the saboteur can be sneaky and slip right back in and mess with your new outlook.
• Take Stock – what are you thinking, how are you feeling, what are you doing – sometimes, like in my case, take a look at what might have led up to the saboteur gaining power. How did you sleep last night? Are you eating right for your nutritional needs? Is there too much on your “to do” list? How much of that list is self-imposed?
• Collect evidence – remember who you are and all that you have accomplished in your life. Remember that even if you have “failed” at something – that does not make you a failure. Collect evidence and remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and when you were successful. … and begin to build from that RESET Mindset.
• Take a moment – to celebrate all that you are … pull those shoulders back, sit or stand up straight, put a smile on your face, walk tall, maybe even do a little “happy dance”.
• Be yourself – no one else is qualified for the job!

Do you have a “Saboteur Story” to share? Please click on the comment link and tell us about it. We love hearing from you.
Until next time I remain …..

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Now it’s a week before Thanksgiving and we are staring down the last of 2009. How does this happen? I am fascinated once again by the speed of life. How is it that we go from children whose only “job” is to play all day to not having any time to “play” at all?

I read today that a block of ice fell from the sky straight through the roof of someone’s home in Colorado. It landed smack dab in their kitchen, where they had been sitting just a few moments prior.

I teach a course on time management. In that course I talk about how we all have only 1440 minutes every single day. It is the universal equalizer. What we choose to do with those 1440 minutes is what makes the difference.

So why am I talking about fun, hurtling through space, shots in the dark, children playing, blocks of ice and 1440 minutes? Well, as my husband and I were sharing our evening television ritual, and discussing the accomplishment vs. yet to do list during the commercials, with my lap top in my lap, and his on his armrest, surrounded by paperwork that I absolutely “have to get to”, I saw the story about the block of ice.

I hit the “pause button” on all our activity. For the next few moments I remembered and reminded my husband about the blocks of ice we have experienced in our life. One moment you are sitting at your kitchen table having tea with your daughter, laughing, planning, enjoying the moment and the very next second a block of ice is crashing through your ceiling – perhaps crushing that exquisite tea pot that was displayed so perfectly on the center of the table.

The point; nothing is promised – not our next year, next month, tomorrow or even the very next millisecond. And I am amazed that no matter how many times I am reminded of this fact, I still find myself getting lost in the blur of life, unsure of the target as I sail blindly through the dark, cold, night sky.

So here we are, Thanksgiving a week away and counting down to the holidays and the end of another particularly challenging year. We will get busier as we “bustle” around with our holiday “to do” lists. We will get tired and impatient and some of us, well, we will become ill or recover from illness or sitting by the bed of someone as, hopefully, they heal from an illness.

The weekend attitude adjustment this week is simply this – remember that at any moment a block of ice can fall from the sky and crash through your kitchen ceiling. Do your best to keep the reason of the season in your heart. Enjoy the pot of tea, put away the papers, make eye contact with everyone you see. And smile. Choose to connect as your target for the next several weeks. Guide your own path and consciously navigate instead of blindly flying through the air. We do only get 1440 minutes every day – how will you choose to use yours?

Until next time I remain…
Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

How are you having fun these days? Are you planning to go to the lake, the beach or the mountains? Did your Memorial Day picnic offer time to tell stories and share fond memories? For those of us with family who have served or are serving, did you find a way to honor them with a smile?

Life seems to have been so serious lately and rightfully so. There are many serious issues requiring attention. And yet, perhaps because summer has begun, I find myself yearning for fun, laughter and plain ole’ silliness.

From a tax payer perspective I don’t know if I agree with the President and First Lady’s date night in New York. I’m sure there are great theatres and restaurants in Washington DC, Maryland or Virginia – you know, a motorcade vs. a helicopter ride away, but I do agree with and love the essence of their “date night”.

I found myself longing to experience the same worry free spirit they displayed as husband and wife in love and sharing what appeared to be a wonderful evening together. They were creating a new memory for the file of their life.
It served to add to my yearning for a little free spirited fun. For me it was not what they did but the fact that they did it. That was a message I was ready to receive.

When was the last time you and your partner had fun? How are you bringing fun into your workplace? Do you and your business partners wring your hands with worry or instead every once in awhile throw them up in the air and just laugh?

Have you and your spouse had an evening out recently? Just the two of you – even if you are taking a long drive or walk or bicycle ride, can you find time for just the two of you?

Life is more fun when you can share it with someone else. What about your best friend, or favorite cousin? When are you going to stop, pick up the phone or type on your keyboard and send an invitation to someone important to you? Ask them to join you in some simple, easy, good ole fashion activity that will bring you both a bit of relief, laughter and joy.

Please remember to tell us about it! Sharing ideas within our WeekEnd Attitude Adjustment community is fun. It would be awesome to have 17 new ideas to share with each other. How many are you willing to share with us? Simply clicking the comment section below and tell us your story.

And until next time … I remain….

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

I found myself thinking this past week about how often we tend to focus on our problems, not necessarily the solutions. It seems that we spend more energy talking about our problems than actually doing anything to rid ourselves of them. I mean really, sometimes it as though our problems become a part of our identity. Who would I be if not for my problems?

So, if you are growing a bit weary of discussing the “current problem” or listening to Aunt Edna and Cousin Frank tell you all about what is wrong this week in their world, then please continue reading. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment will provide you with some tools so that when your neighbor Larry starts down his road of woe you might actually help him to uncover some practical solutions. And then you can both get on with enjoying the day!

Isaac Asimov hit the nail on the head when he said, “If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.”

This is so true. Learning how to solve problems is one of those topics in the world that we don’t spend time learning about. While we may “talk” through our problems, learning about them is a whole different story. Think of the lost productivity at work or the lost emotional energy in your personal life spent dealing with “problem dramas.”

How do you reduce the “problem dramas” and get on with constructive working and living?
Imagine the freed up energy you could put toward other areas of your life. What about yourself or a peer who is stuck in their ways? While you can’t change a leopard’s spots, you can change behavior.

Rather than stew over a problem, work on finding solutions to resolve it. Use these six steps to solve problems:
1. Define the problem and the expected results. Ask yourself, “What is the problem?” State it as specifically as possible giving attention to all facets of the problem. Charles Kettering once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Ask yourself, “is this the real problem?”
2. Collect facts and ideas. Collect, as many facts, ideas and opinions as you believe may be necessary to provide insights into the problem.
3. Generate solutions. Gather all possible solutions, no matter how wild they may seem. This is the time to brainstorm. All ideas are possible solutions at this stage. Use everyone’s creative imaginations and note all possible solutions. In the words of Bertrand Russell, “The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” A favorite question I like to ask myself or others when I feel stuck is, “I know I can’t but if I could what would I …?” By asking this question it eliminates the “yeah buts” and opens up the thinking to possibility.
4. Pick the best solution. Which of the solutions in Step 3 would most possibly give you the results you defined in Step 1?
5. Implement the solution. Start acting on the solution. Remember that you may have more problems by not doing anything than by doing the wrong thing.
6. Evaluate the solution. Is the solution working? Are you achieving the desired results? Now is the time to make any modifications that may be necessary.

Jot down these 6 steps. Spend some time this weekend applying this system to your problems. Then later when you are at that picnic, pool party or soccer game and Sara or Sam approach you with their latest dilemma you will be prepared for a healthy, constructive conversation that may result in a practical solution.

Ahhh, now doesn’t that feel better? A practical solution is as refreshing as a cool glass of lemonade on a warm day. And now I’m off for a burger…  until next time I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

What about that feeling of losing control over your time? Somehow it’s gotten off-course like a runaway train. Somehow it has gripped you with a force only someone with superhuman powers could escape. If only you could stop that train with your powerful boots or break the grip with the strength of your gold bracelets!

Last week, while I was on a business trip to Chicago I rented a car from my friends at Avis. I, put my luggage in the trunk, adjusted the mirrors and before I shifted into drive I looked at the dashboard. I saw in bright neon green numbers and letters the following message – “399 miles to Empty”.

And I thought – hmmm – what if we humans came with the same type of meter. I little register in our system that monitored and mentioned to us how many miles we had left in us to EMPTY!

Everywhere I went in that car I was reminded of how many miles I had until EMPTY! It actually became a bit annoying – I found myself much more concerned about my gas tank than ever before. It was right there on my dashboard, dead center and unavoidable. I just kept thinking there was a greater message here and certainly something for me to share with you, the Weekend Attitude Adjustment Community. So here goes …

Where do you start or stop when you realize that you are not a Super Hero but a normal human running around in Super Hero clothing and driving a car that will be EMPTY in 399 miles.

The fact of the matter is that time is the great equalizer. We all get the same amount to use everyday. Twenty-four hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds; however you break down your day, it’s barely enough time to get your own house in order, let alone save the world! Beginning at 12:00 am Saturday you will have 2,880 minutes for this weekend, so much for sleeping in on Saturday morning. That leisurely coffee and crumpet plan for Sunday – forget it – you only have 900 minutes left to EMPTY!

On the other hand if you run around with “your hair on fire” as a friend of mine likes to say – how long do you think you have until your internal gas tank reads EMPTY?

Any way you look at it, time is precious. How can you maximize it and at the same time maintain a human lifestyle?

First, sit back and close your eyes for a minute. Now, imagine if you could have 60 minutes of unscheduled time every day. That would be seven hours in a week and 28 additional hours in a month. Expand it for the year and that would be 14 extra free days. Woo hoo Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa here I come …

This may sound ridiculous, but it’s not. In spite of your busy work schedule, the fact that the shopping won’t do itself, and not to mention your all-too-human desire to spend time with your family, I am actually suggesting that you “Super Hero” can in fact find an extra 60 minutes in every day – for you. Time to do the things you keep on that “if I only had more time” wish list.

The following is a list of 11 tips and concepts for time management. This weekend simply practice a few of these and see come Sunday night if you still have a little fuel left in the tank.

As you review this list, ask yourself some questions: Which of these categories are most critical? Which category are you already controlling? Learn ways to develop those you still need to improve upon and sooner rather than later you will have those extra two weeks. My favorite weekend tips are in bold!!

1. Goals – Be sure that you are setting S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed.
2. Priorities – Most people start with the quick, easy, enjoyable things first. Instead, start with the important things. Do the weeding, shopping, whatever chores first thing Saturday morning – sip Lemonade in the afternoon.
3. Analyze Your Day – Check that your activities are consistent with your goals. Are you spending your time in a way that brings your heart joy?
4. Plan – Make sure your daily “to do” list has priorities and time estimates. You run out of time, not work.
5. Schedule – Little ever happens in your life until you create the space for it to happen. Set a start and an end time.
6. Interruptions – Schedule quiet time each day so that you can work on your priorities without interruption. Before the running of the errands… take time to visualize how you would like to see your day play out.
7. Written Communications – Ask yourself these three questions: Will I really do anything with this? If the answer is “no,” then dump it. If the answer is “yes,” ask the next two questions: When will I do it? Where will I keep it?
8. Meetings – Identify a specific result to be achieved for each agenda item. Schedule people to come and go as they are needed.
9. Delegation – Consider how you will manage the job before you delegate it. Insist on results not perfection. There are usually many ways to get the same results. Learn to live with differences. “How perfect does that lawn have to be … really?”
10. Procrastination – What causes you to put things off? Most of us tend to avoid things that are unpleasant, complex or overwhelming.
11. Team Time – Discuss goals, priorities, and plans with superiors, subordinates, team members and support staff. Do it often. Family, children, neighbors, friends – discuss the plan so that everyone can support it, have fun and save some fuel –carpool!

Not using your time wisely can impact both your professional and personal lives. You don’t have to be Super Hero, but you can lasso time back under your control.

I would love to hear from you and your thoughts on this topic. How will you use your 2,880 minutes this weekend? Please click comment below and share your ideas and wisdom.

And until next time … I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Will you join me in a new challenge this week-end?  Do you or others think that you are “too critical”? Do you avoid people because of their constant criticism of you? Are you ready to focus your attention on your internal and external communication patterns this weekend and maybe for the next 30 days?

This may sound like  too much “work”, especially for the weekend.  However, it could be fun, really!

If you are ready to play - read on…

For an effective communication strategy and to avoid giving criticism, think – divide and conquer!

That is, separate observation from evaluation.

According to Marshall Rosenburg, Ph.D., author of Non-Violent Communication, A Language of Compassion, “when we combine an observation with an evaluation our words can be heard as criticism.”

Mixing our observations and evaluations is a recipe for disaster. The more we mix our observations with our evaluations of another person’s behavior, the less likely that person is going to be open to us. They will probably be less open to hearing our words, empathizing with our feelings or being receptive in any way to our intended message.

“We need to observe what we are seeing, hearing, or touching that is affecting our well being without mixing in evaluation,” said Rosenburg.

This is why it’s important to keep your observations specific to time and context. If you choose to utilize this language skill, you will increase the chances of conveying your message to the listener in the way in which you intended, and not as criticism. Below are some examples of observations and evaluations:

EXAMPLE #1:
Observation and evaluation mixed together: “She won’t get her work in.”
Observation separate from evaluation: “She has a great amount of work and less than 2 days to complete it. (Observation) I don’t know if she will get her work in.” (Evaluation)

EXAMPLE #2:
Observation and evaluation mixed together: “You are late.”
Observation separate from evaluation: “I see that you were not here at 9:00 a.m.” (Observation only)

Following these tips can help you separate your observations and evaluations:
 Be aware of when you generalize – using words like always, never, ever, whenever, etc.
 Don’t mix what you see with your opinion
 Be aware of labels, especially negative labels – lazy, stupid, brainy, egotistical, etc.

Even when we label someone by their socially accepted title we could be evaluating. For example, calling someone a “cook” can be considered an evaluation according to Rosenburg. The following stanza from a poem by Ruth Bebermeyer explains it this way,

“I’ve looked as hard as I can look
but never ever seen a cook;
I saw a person who combined
ingredients on which we dined,
A person who turned on the heat
and watched the stove that cooked the meat -
I saw those things but not a cook. Tell me, when you’re looking,
Is it a cook you see or is it someone doing things that we call cooking?”

I recommend a practice run in seeing how many evaluations or judgments you make in a particular situation. This weekend when you go to the mall, grocery store or any other public setting, observe how many “evaluations” you make over a 15-minute period. Does it make you wonder if the number of evaluations/judgments made during this period makes you an extremely judgmental person, average or below average? Think about how many evaluations you make when you are not making a conscious effort to pay attention to your evaluations/judgments.

Expand this practice run to a 30-day trial of actually speaking from observation without mixing in evaluation. Practice articulating observations separate from evaluations. Try this in both your personal and professional life.

The Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti once remarked that observing without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence. Remember, the goal is not to ever have an evaluation. The goal is to separate your evaluation from your observation. With this in mind, you will be able to effectively communicate your message, which will be a win-win situation for you and the listener.

Please send us your results. It will be fun to share how this intentional effort benefits you and others!

Until next time… I remain or appear to remain…

Joyfully yours,

Mary Elizabeth

The first is grammar school. You remember the days when you were on the top of the world. You were an “eighth grader”. Life was all about being cool and having fun. After all you ruled the school, you were an eighth grader. It was a great year. Your biggest responsibility as you prepared to launch into your teen years was to take the constitution test and get accepted into the same high school as your best friend. Soon however you would be thrust back to the bottom rung of the social ladder. In just 3 short months you would again be starting over – as a freshman.

The next graduation on our list is high school. Life was all about being cool and having fun. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? The stakes have gotten a little higher, the choices a bit more liberating. Now the responsibilities carried more weight. Decisions about college vs. working vs. marriage, vs. all 3 (there’s that number again). Where your best friend is going matters, but not as much, suddenly every decision seems to start or end with the words, “for the rest of your life”.

Finally it’s college. Where life once again has been about being cool and having fun, these after all are the final days. Soon you will be an adult, working in the adult world, with “grown-up” responsibilities. Your best friend might not even live in the same state as you do anymore. It’s time to think about “career moves”, financial status and settling down with someone to share “the rest of your life”. Soon you will begin again, on the bottom rung of your first corporate job. For what you hope is the last time –you will be the new kid on the block, because now you are ready to “get on with your life”.

Funny how beginnings and endings continue throughout our lives, even when we think they have ended. Remember being the “the up and comer”, “the one to watch”, “the rising star”. Then there was the newly-wed, the first time parent, and the new homeowner. Suddenly and before we know it, we become the grandparents, the empty nesters, the retired community.

Yes, life is full of beginnings and endings. It is important that with each one we stop and celebrate. The celebrations are what we will remember. Be sure you find a way to celebrate life’s most precious moments. Celebrate this weekend. Mark the moment.

Be sure to share with our community your thoughts on beginnings and endings. How are you marking the precious moments in your life? Click on the comments box below and share your thoughts, wisdom, experience!

And until next time I remain…

Joyfully yours,

Mary Elizabeth