A Block of Ice Falling From The Sky

Whew! Well it has been a flash of time since the last time I was here – JUNE 4. Our last post was about wanting to have fun. It seems as though just as I hit the publish button on that post, life propelled me into space. Since then, just like a shot in the dark, I’ve been hurtling through the air not sure of the target.

Now it’s a week before Thanksgiving and we are staring down the last of 2009. How does this happen? I am fascinated once again by the speed of life. How is it that we go from children whose only “job” is to play all day to not having any time to “play” at all?

I read today that a block of ice fell from the sky straight through the roof of someone’s home in Colorado. It landed smack dab in their kitchen, where they had been sitting just a few moments prior.

I teach a course on time management. In that course I talk about how we all have only 1440 minutes every single day. It is the universal equalizer. What we choose to do with those 1440 minutes is what makes the difference.

So why am I talking about fun, hurtling through space, shots in the dark, children playing, blocks of ice and 1440 minutes? Well, as my husband and I were sharing our evening television ritual, and discussing the accomplishment vs. yet to do list during the commercials, with my lap top in my lap, and his on his armrest, surrounded by paperwork that I absolutely “have to get to”, I saw the story about the block of ice.

I hit the “pause button” on all our activity. For the next few moments I remembered and reminded my husband about the blocks of ice we have experienced in our life. One moment you are sitting at your kitchen table having tea with your daughter, laughing, planning, enjoying the moment and the very next second a block of ice is crashing through your ceiling – perhaps crushing that exquisite tea pot that was displayed so perfectly on the center of the table.

The point; nothing is promised – not our next year, next month, tomorrow or even the very next millisecond. And I am amazed that no matter how many times I am reminded of this fact, I still find myself getting lost in the blur of life, unsure of the target as I sail blindly through the dark, cold, night sky.

So here we are, Thanksgiving a week away and counting down to the holidays and the end of another particularly challenging year. We will get busier as we “bustle” around with our holiday “to do” lists. We will get tired and impatient and some of us, well, we will become ill or recover from illness or sitting by the bed of someone as, hopefully, they heal from an illness.

The weekend attitude adjustment this week is simply this – remember that at any moment a block of ice can fall from the sky and crash through your kitchen ceiling. Do your best to keep the reason of the season in your heart. Enjoy the pot of tea, put away the papers, make eye contact with everyone you see. And smile. Choose to connect as your target for the next several weeks. Guide your own path and consciously navigate instead of blindly flying through the air. We do only get 1440 minutes every day – how will you choose to use yours?

Until next time I remain…
Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Time for Fun!

The song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun!” by Cyndi Lauper keeps running through my head this morning.

How are you having fun these days? Are you planning to go to the lake, the beach or the mountains? Did your Memorial Day picnic offer time to tell stories and share fond memories? For those of us with family who have served or are serving, did you find a way to honor them with a smile?

Life seems to have been so serious lately and rightfully so. There are many serious issues requiring attention. And yet, perhaps because summer has begun, I find myself yearning for fun, laughter and plain ole’ silliness.

From a tax payer perspective I don’t know if I agree with the President and First Lady’s date night in New York. I’m sure there are great theatres and restaurants in Washington DC, Maryland or Virginia – you know, a motorcade vs. a helicopter ride away, but I do agree with and love the essence of their “date night”.

I found myself longing to experience the same worry free spirit they displayed as husband and wife in love and sharing what appeared to be a wonderful evening together. They were creating a new memory for the file of their life.
It served to add to my yearning for a little free spirited fun. For me it was not what they did but the fact that they did it. That was a message I was ready to receive.

When was the last time you and your partner had fun? How are you bringing fun into your workplace? Do you and your business partners wring your hands with worry or instead every once in awhile throw them up in the air and just laugh?

Have you and your spouse had an evening out recently? Just the two of you – even if you are taking a long drive or walk or bicycle ride, can you find time for just the two of you?

Life is more fun when you can share it with someone else. What about your best friend, or favorite cousin? When are you going to stop, pick up the phone or type on your keyboard and send an invitation to someone important to you? Ask them to join you in some simple, easy, good ole fashion activity that will bring you both a bit of relief, laughter and joy.

Please remember to tell us about it! Sharing ideas within our WeekEnd Attitude Adjustment community is fun. It would be awesome to have 17 new ideas to share with each other. How many are you willing to share with us? Simply clicking the comment section below and tell us your story.

And until next time … I remain….

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

Solving Problems with Practical Solutions

It’s the beginning of summer, Memorial Day Weekend. What are your plans? Will you be honoring the day with family? Sharing time with friends? As you gather with friends and family what will you find yourselves discussing? Will you share stories of success or commiserate over your most current problem? It is easy to discuss the “current economic condition” or how “hard” it is at work due to the layoffs. Stretching the dollar sure has become a problem.

I found myself thinking this past week about how often we tend to focus on our problems, not necessarily the solutions. It seems that we spend more energy talking about our problems than actually doing anything to rid ourselves of them. I mean really, sometimes it as though our problems become a part of our identity. Who would I be if not for my problems?

So, if you are growing a bit weary of discussing the “current problem” or listening to Aunt Edna and Cousin Frank tell you all about what is wrong this week in their world, then please continue reading. This Weekend Attitude Adjustment will provide you with some tools so that when your neighbor Larry starts down his road of woe you might actually help him to uncover some practical solutions. And then you can both get on with enjoying the day!

Isaac Asimov hit the nail on the head when he said, “If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.”

This is so true. Learning how to solve problems is one of those topics in the world that we don’t spend time learning about. While we may “talk” through our problems, learning about them is a whole different story. Think of the lost productivity at work or the lost emotional energy in your personal life spent dealing with “problem dramas.”

How do you reduce the “problem dramas” and get on with constructive working and living?
Imagine the freed up energy you could put toward other areas of your life. What about yourself or a peer who is stuck in their ways? While you can’t change a leopard’s spots, you can change behavior.

Rather than stew over a problem, work on finding solutions to resolve it. Use these six steps to solve problems:
1. Define the problem and the expected results. Ask yourself, “What is the problem?” State it as specifically as possible giving attention to all facets of the problem. Charles Kettering once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Ask yourself, “is this the real problem?”
2. Collect facts and ideas. Collect, as many facts, ideas and opinions as you believe may be necessary to provide insights into the problem.
3. Generate solutions. Gather all possible solutions, no matter how wild they may seem. This is the time to brainstorm. All ideas are possible solutions at this stage. Use everyone’s creative imaginations and note all possible solutions. In the words of Bertrand Russell, “The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.” A favorite question I like to ask myself or others when I feel stuck is, “I know I can’t but if I could what would I …?” By asking this question it eliminates the “yeah buts” and opens up the thinking to possibility.
4. Pick the best solution. Which of the solutions in Step 3 would most possibly give you the results you defined in Step 1?
5. Implement the solution. Start acting on the solution. Remember that you may have more problems by not doing anything than by doing the wrong thing.
6. Evaluate the solution. Is the solution working? Are you achieving the desired results? Now is the time to make any modifications that may be necessary.

Jot down these 6 steps. Spend some time this weekend applying this system to your problems. Then later when you are at that picnic, pool party or soccer game and Sara or Sam approach you with their latest dilemma you will be prepared for a healthy, constructive conversation that may result in a practical solution.

Ahhh, now doesn’t that feel better? A practical solution is as refreshing as a cool glass of lemonade on a warm day. And now I’m off for a burger…  until next time I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth

399 Miles to Empty

Do you feel like a Super Hero when it comes time to planning your life? Would a colorful cape, some cool boots and a lasso be all you need to complete this persona to help you conquer the world and meet your everyday responsibilities?

What about that feeling of losing control over your time? Somehow it’s gotten off-course like a runaway train. Somehow it has gripped you with a force only someone with superhuman powers could escape. If only you could stop that train with your powerful boots or break the grip with the strength of your gold bracelets!

Last week, while I was on a business trip to Chicago I rented a car from my friends at Avis. I, put my luggage in the trunk, adjusted the mirrors and before I shifted into drive I looked at the dashboard. I saw in bright neon green numbers and letters the following message – “399 miles to Empty”.

And I thought – hmmm – what if we humans came with the same type of meter. I little register in our system that monitored and mentioned to us how many miles we had left in us to EMPTY!

Everywhere I went in that car I was reminded of how many miles I had until EMPTY! It actually became a bit annoying – I found myself much more concerned about my gas tank than ever before. It was right there on my dashboard, dead center and unavoidable. I just kept thinking there was a greater message here and certainly something for me to share with you, the Weekend Attitude Adjustment Community. So here goes …

Where do you start or stop when you realize that you are not a Super Hero but a normal human running around in Super Hero clothing and driving a car that will be EMPTY in 399 miles.

The fact of the matter is that time is the great equalizer. We all get the same amount to use everyday. Twenty-four hours, 1,440 minutes, 86,400 seconds; however you break down your day, it’s barely enough time to get your own house in order, let alone save the world! Beginning at 12:00 am Saturday you will have 2,880 minutes for this weekend, so much for sleeping in on Saturday morning. That leisurely coffee and crumpet plan for Sunday – forget it – you only have 900 minutes left to EMPTY!

On the other hand if you run around with “your hair on fire” as a friend of mine likes to say – how long do you think you have until your internal gas tank reads EMPTY?

Any way you look at it, time is precious. How can you maximize it and at the same time maintain a human lifestyle?

First, sit back and close your eyes for a minute. Now, imagine if you could have 60 minutes of unscheduled time every day. That would be seven hours in a week and 28 additional hours in a month. Expand it for the year and that would be 14 extra free days. Woo hoo Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa here I come …

This may sound ridiculous, but it’s not. In spite of your busy work schedule, the fact that the shopping won’t do itself, and not to mention your all-too-human desire to spend time with your family, I am actually suggesting that you “Super Hero” can in fact find an extra 60 minutes in every day – for you. Time to do the things you keep on that “if I only had more time” wish list.

The following is a list of 11 tips and concepts for time management. This weekend simply practice a few of these and see come Sunday night if you still have a little fuel left in the tank.

As you review this list, ask yourself some questions: Which of these categories are most critical? Which category are you already controlling? Learn ways to develop those you still need to improve upon and sooner rather than later you will have those extra two weeks. My favorite weekend tips are in bold!!

1. Goals – Be sure that you are setting S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed.
2. Priorities – Most people start with the quick, easy, enjoyable things first. Instead, start with the important things. Do the weeding, shopping, whatever chores first thing Saturday morning – sip Lemonade in the afternoon.
3. Analyze Your Day – Check that your activities are consistent with your goals. Are you spending your time in a way that brings your heart joy?
4. Plan – Make sure your daily “to do” list has priorities and time estimates. You run out of time, not work.
5. Schedule – Little ever happens in your life until you create the space for it to happen. Set a start and an end time.
6. Interruptions – Schedule quiet time each day so that you can work on your priorities without interruption. Before the running of the errands… take time to visualize how you would like to see your day play out.
7. Written Communications – Ask yourself these three questions: Will I really do anything with this? If the answer is “no,” then dump it. If the answer is “yes,” ask the next two questions: When will I do it? Where will I keep it?
8. Meetings – Identify a specific result to be achieved for each agenda item. Schedule people to come and go as they are needed.
9. Delegation – Consider how you will manage the job before you delegate it. Insist on results not perfection. There are usually many ways to get the same results. Learn to live with differences. “How perfect does that lawn have to be … really?”
10. Procrastination – What causes you to put things off? Most of us tend to avoid things that are unpleasant, complex or overwhelming.
11. Team Time – Discuss goals, priorities, and plans with superiors, subordinates, team members and support staff. Do it often. Family, children, neighbors, friends – discuss the plan so that everyone can support it, have fun and save some fuel –carpool!

Not using your time wisely can impact both your professional and personal lives. You don’t have to be Super Hero, but you can lasso time back under your control.

I would love to hear from you and your thoughts on this topic. How will you use your 2,880 minutes this weekend? Please click comment below and share your ideas and wisdom.

And until next time … I remain …

Joyfully yours,
Mary Elizabeth